(Title based on a documentary by that name which inspired this work)

She started preparing a glass of hot chocolate for her daughter.Maybe some easy-on-the-stomach sandwiches too.No meat. Would the hot chocolate be too heavy for her daughter's weak stomach? She impulsively threw the hot chocolate into the sink and kept a big glass of milk into the microwave for a minute.And then she thought again. Where's my sense. A plain glass of orange juice is better. She kept the glass of milk back into the fridge and placed the orange juice and sandwiches on the tray neatly and attractively.Flowers always help cheering people up. No...that would be over the limit..nothing to irritate her darling this morning.

Her daughter had a long way to recovery. What nightmares her baby had to face, the mother had no idea. But she would be there for her at this hour. She would take care of her.Like a mother should. Like a strong mother should she reminded herself. You are not going to break down today.You are not going to cry."She repeated it like a mantra in her head.

She straightened up her thin frail shoulders and efficiently made her way through the corridors to her daughter's room.It was a clean,neat,white little house. Plush with comfort at the same time not sterile looking like a doc's house. She had made it comfortable all these years alone. When her husband had left her with the care of this house and their daughter. Her daughter had left her too,soon after as a teenager. The girl had been 17 then.Young,vivacious and beautiful.She didnt leave out of malice or the lack of freedom or because she hated her house or her mother,that child.The mother knew that.The girl had left because she had so much promise...so much potential within her.This village was just not the right place for her.

She didnt hold any grudge against her daughter for leaving her alone..The years alone had made her instrospect into her life and her past. Into her successes and her failures as a wife,a mother and a woman. She wasnt both now. She had to fill in her role as a woman.She did it with what little knowledge she had of her world. She decorated and made her house a more comfortable place to live in.For whom she wondered. But thats all she knew to do.

And now her baby was back. Not a baby anymore.She was 29 years old now. Oh God how fast time flew.It was 12 years back when her chirpy talented young daughter had run out of the house without having her breakfast once again...saying "Mom,no dinner for me tonight...I'm sleeping over at Ann's house."
Her wait began from that night.Her wait for her beautiful smart talented young daughter of hers.She waited until 5 pm the next evening to call to Ann's house.She didnt want to disturb her with whatever she was doing.She was sure her daughter would be working on some new project of hers.She was a born artist.The mother knew that...and she hated to be disturbed. When Ann told her that her daughter had never been there for at least 5 days now, she kept the phone and sat down.She knew what could have happened.She couldnt believe and refused to admit it.She called the police..did all she could.After a few months she just stopped doing anything.She knew in her heart that her daughter was alive and well.That her daughter would have had to face difficulties but then,one day she would be famous.People called her foolish.But she was a mother.She knew her daughter was alive.She just knew it.

A year later she got a letter written on cheap yellowish paper with a pencil for some reason.Reminded her of the 1st grade alphabets in colour pencil that her baby used to write.
Her 18 yr old daughter said "Mom, I'm sorry for the pain i'v caused you.I love you so much.I know you are a strong woman and you will survive. I have my life mama.And i need to live it alone. I knew i wouldnt be able to convince you to let go of me. I had to leave.I'v joined the theatre here. There's a young group here thats involved in the cause of literacy for the masses. They roam around in villages and speak to the villagers through their plays. I'm invloved with the art direction for the team.Mama, I cant tell you where I am. I'm happy.That's all i can tell you.I know that will make you happy too."

And now...after 12 years,her baby girl was back.

She walked into the well lighted white painted room. She saw the form sleeping under the white sheets cushioned by the white pillows. How heavenly her daughter looked.Just as she was the day she had left at the age of 17.Her light hair looked just the same. The mother straightened her shoulders just a bit more,betraying no sign of weakness from her exterior. She sat next to the girl and pulled her sheet a bit to look at her sleeping face.She was shocked back into reality.

Her baby's face was as white as the sheet that covered it.Her lips were...grey..dead grey.It reminded her of her husband on his deathbed.Tears stained the pallid sunken cheeks of her daughter's face.Her eyes slowly opened.The pain in them drawing a searing pain in her mother's heart.The mother held back the sudden choking surge of tears that rose up in her body.With infinite strength,patience and love she smiled at her daughter.This was her daughter's time to heal.Whatever had happened to her in the outside world, she could come back here.This was her home.And her mother would give her nothing but love.If the daughter wanted her to listen she would.She would be there as a strong pillar of support for her daughter.She asked her. "Baby? Would you like some sandwiches to eat darling? It will make you stronger..Or if you dont want it..there's some orange juice! I know you love orange juice...I still remember how you used to throw your beautiful little tantrums for ..."
The daughter started to sob.The sound started as a weird ejaculation of air from her throat.It progressed into deep drawn sighs...And finally conculded in sobs..she bawled like a baby in the arms of her mother.Which she was in.The mother fought against her tears like no woman ever could,restrained herself and hugged her girl. "Oh Mama...i should have run back to you years ago...I should have come back to my mother...but i couldnt mama..i couldnt show you how big a failure your daughter had become in the real world.I just couldnt come back empty handed.Oh Mama the pain iv been through, away from home....the pain...the suffering..." her daughter's ex-pression suddenly collapsed.That was the right word for it.Collapsed.Her eyebrows went limp, her eyes dropped to ex-pressionlessly into their sockets, her lips sagged.She was giving up her mother knew...she was giving up.

She hugged more tightly."No baby, you are with me. You are with your mother. You are my beautiful baby whatever happens in the outside world.Nobody can ever take that away from us.You are safe here in my arms. It doesnt matter...it doesnt matter how you got those scars on your body and your soul.Its all going to be ok now baby....you are in mama's hands...its all going to be ok now.Darling? Look at me....look at me now...See what iv made for you.Have some of this.You are going to be strong again. See I'll give it to you in your mouth.Open your mouth..take this..." The daughter's eyes wandered back to her mother's face.Her eyes cringed in tears and her lips widened into a broad uncontrollable smile.She said "O mama..." and opened her mouth to eat the offered sandwich. She realized how hungry she actually was and ate the rest of it too fast.Her mother was alarmed...My baby...how long had she gone hungry! No no..dont lose it.Dont think too much now. She thought swiftly,what else can i give her.She ran to her fridge and brought back the chocolates she had bought for the kids in church. Her daughter took them eagerly and ate them too...Her mother was over joyed.Then her baby said she was tired and wanted to sleep for some more time.Oh yes sure..you have to sleep baby..we can talk some other time! There was so much to catch up on..yes we can talk some other...her baby had already fallen asleep...cradled in the love of her mother.

She ran back to the kitchen. Oh God there was nothing in this house. She called up the boy who helped her with her household stuff and gave him a list of things to buy. She could bake a cake by the time he got back.Or maybe she could make some warm sweetmeat...oh Christ what could she do.
She ran about her house doing things and not forgetting to check on her sleeping daughter intermittently.She was so happy and excited.She called all her friends and relatives,paid short visits to her neighbours saying "My baby is back! Yes she is sleeping..she was ill..But now she's going to be just fine.Oh yes she is still so beautiful and healthy and happy my little girl.Oh let me go back,she will wake up any minute."

Her daughter was awake in the meant time.She tried to slowly raise her head from her pillow.The comfort of this bed was heaven and she could sleep on it for all eternity.But she had to wake up.For her mother. It was 12 years...and she hoped she still had the ability to take care of her mother like she should have done.She woke up slowly and painstakingly..it was almost as though she was glued to the bed.Her hair stuck in wet strands to the pillow and she pried herself up from the bed.She muscles felt like cement.Immovable and inflexible.She was so so tired.
She looked down and she saw she was wearing a clean white shirt and she kept her feet on the floor.She remembered nothing after that night(how many days was it now?) when she was prepared to take her own life and changed her mind and just came home.Walked home in the rain.Oh God that was the only right decision she had made in years.

She stood up slowly and steadily and looked outside the window.There her mother was running back from the neighbour's house.She would be here in a minute.She knew she was going to hug her mother when she came in.She hoped they would never be separated again in her life.She waited for the door to her room to open.